West of England Regional Contest, Torquay 27 March 2004
Chapter One: Great Expectations
With recent history, and a lot of hard work put in over the past couple of months, this years trip to Torquay for the West of England Qualifiers was being very eagerly anticipated by MD, players, and supporters alike. One good performance and the Finals beckoned again. Promotion was within our grasp, too.
The excitement was palpable as St Roland of the Moustache, esteemed and revered, prepared us in the Carlton Hotel Ballroom. This sumptuous hostelry provided a tranquil oasis of calm to prepare us for the forthcoming test. We were blissfully unaware of the tumult and trauma ahead and the misadventure that would blight our path, later that same day...
Chapter Two: What the Dickens!
From hence I will lead you, dear friend, to the gargantuan arena that is the Riviera Centre - hallowed halls, once the scene of much Downton Band celebrations - where we, like the crew of the finest ship of Her Majesty’s Royal Navy, a finely drilled and experienced ensemble, as 'twere, strove in harmonious battle for our own place in musical history: a successive Finals appearance!
Together we approached the challenge, together we faced the twin foes of nerves and the limit of individual ability, and together we exposed ourselves to Judgement. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times as, for two movements we flew, exalted in our control and dexterity - only small cracks evident. As we faced our "March" towards the laurels of victory, only that great interloper "error" could forestall our triumph now.
Then suddenly all seemed lost! An entry wrong here, another, and yet another. Bars of disaster, bars of regress! And confidence was blown. In confusion the piece continued and only the fortitude of players and persistent and courageous work by MD, saved this rapidly sinking vessel. As our final note (a jolly good one!) rang in the auditorium, we walked slowly from the scene of our bloodying. Dazed and shocked we retreated to the sanctuary of the bar. I heard words I never heard in the Bible.
Chapter Three: I love a twist (get it?)
We remained in the tavern until, not long later, our fate was to be revealed. With sick stomachs and sweaty palms we sat, eyes cast low, some muttering personal admonition prayerfully into tensioned air.
Fate is kind sometimes, and at this hour our guardian angel was pulling all the stops out. As expected a trip to Harrogate was not to be ours, but with 6th place and all the other results of the day, promotion to the third section was assured. That was a real reward for the hard work of all the band's in the last few years, especially those missing on the day.
Roland was playing with his band, Bournemouth Concert Brass at this point so was unable to share in our relief and joy immediately. He was far too busy winning the first section!! Well done Rolo and the retirement home boys!!
Chapter Four: It's Christmas, Carol! Well for the French at least...
As always on these banding occasions the imbuement of alcohol and fine food was the ensuing priority of the band and it's colleagues. The Carlton "Club" proved a fine host again. And, despite Lady Emma’s insecurities following the previous evenings "rare" cheese and cracker dispute, a fine repast was enjoyed by all. The lure of witnessing a confrontation between the fine young men of English Rugger and the despicable French hordes, pulled many on to Albert’s Bar (named after our fine Prince Consort - as English as the Christmas tree, ja?).
And though the result remained a disappointment to some of the band - a knobby Taff and a half-breed Paddy cheered the Garlicky Frogs, of course - we respectfully wished the victors well in a spirit of unbigotted and gracious bonhomie. As we do to both Pillowell and Bratton (whose MD is young, pretty with a name that rhymes with liquor, knicker etc, and would therefore make for a great limerick contest on the long coach trip to Harrogate - just a thought?) and Drybrooke & District: hoping they each do great things in September.
Chapter Five: A Tale of Two Titties
Of course with the triple evils of drink, testosterone and Downton Band combining alchemically to produce an electric atmosphere amongst those with remaining energy and capacity, Albert’s was transformed from sport’s bar to “intimate” music venue – as was the mood of the gathered throng.
Already high spirits were raised sky-ward as our evening entertainment began. Swiss Tony and His Amazing Backing Tape Machine took to the stage. Sceptics may have been unsure, but soon he had his audience (91% over 60, 11% Downton Band – with Roland overlapping nicely) in the palm of his hand. What lung power and delivery, what finesse and vocal dexterity, what charisma, and repertoire…what mike stand control!
The festivities began in earnest: Bandsman after bandsman fell under his spell. Emma, Roland, Rachel, Gary, Jane, Fred, Charlotte, Pete J., Ali, Jonny, Emma2, Andy, Greg, Marcus and finally Gary. With cheesy karaoke the order of the day, we ran the full gamut of emotions – from Holding out for a Hero, and Power of Love to Stars on 45 and the Can Can. We were all touched by the music. Some more than others.
Mostly...as the theme from Full Monty began, many of the boy bandsmen felt THAT urge and the cry went out. A star responded: GAAARY! He was there for us, and the reputation of the band was furthered farther.
Deliberately and expressively his act progressed and all but the coldest hearts were moved by the sheer colossus of his immense performance. Well done Garth.
All good things must come to an end, and most bad things, too, I suppose, and despite the traditional late night session in the Carlton Bar - including the equally traditional “buying a drink for the adjudicator” moment – we were all in a bed by 2.30am (well 3.30 am if you remembered to set your clock forward.
The heads were cleared over breakfast as people prepared to journey home. A few shopped and listened to the 3rd Section (well done Shrewton, and a few even held on till the Championship Section (well done SWT).
All in all a most satisfying weekend. With a little more concentration it could have been outstanding. But we will take on greater challenges in life, and some, I hope, we won’t screw up as bad…
God bless us, one and all.
Nobby Todd